LOCAL BAND SEEKS KILLER BASS PLAYER
Applicant must have major skills like Adam Durand of the Devon Worley Band. Must have long hippy hair and a beard. Must be a ginger. Must be able to create amazing and unusual mash-ups. Must rock out hard, write awesome music and be a killer performer. Must be able to win Magic the Gathering tournaments. Special consideration will be given to applicants who graduated from McNally Smith College of Music and love beef jerkey and aged cheddar cheese. Being an experienced halibut fisherman from Alaska who hates pancakes is also a plus. Serious Inquiries Only!